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Thursday, June 17, 2021

Diary entry

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Is it humanly possible? Is it even conceivable that my Desdemona…my sweet and gentle wife…could betray me? My heart beats like the thunder of a storm and my eyes embrace her beauty. But now, the cold touch of jealousy and hatred pumps through my veins like a river. Now my Desdemona is but a shell to me…a shell of my wife and of the one she now sleeps with…that snake Cassio. The venom of his passion as a young man has poisoned my loves soul and poisoned her life. I just think of how Cassio and Desdemona talk and plan behind my back. But the thought that they could be together in bed…the very thought of that revolts me. Oh Desdemona, why have you done this to my life? Have I always been faithful to you? And Cassio. Why do you betray me after I gave the honourable lieutenant rank to you? But Iago is right. Now I must not wait any longer. Cassio and Desdemona have betrayed me and now I must kill them both. Iago has volunteered to kill Cassio whilst I plan on how to murder my Desdemona. God, why do you have to be so cruel? I cannot murder my wife, yet I must. The evidence…evidence that I have seen with my own eyes…speaks against her louder that what ears can hear. Must I kill her? I must I know. But how will I kill her? I must go beyond my love and look at the treachery that has taken place here. I know that I can only trust Iago now. Is anything as hard as this? She has lost my favour…she who once was an angel but is now a demon…she whose love bathed her in light but her treachery veils her in darkness…she whom I thought I knew now someone I doubt. It must be done. For me. For any future husbands that she might have after I perish. But how? She has deceived me and now must pay the ultimate price…death! May God in heavens realm guide me to do what is right. The time draws near as I bid farewell to my wife. I know for certain now that, even though I still love my Desdemona, I must kill her. Cassio be damned! You have turned my wife against me! Death being on her doorstep, and you caused this you fiend! Why, why, why? I give you both my heart and you crush like a crushed grape. My heart yearns for your love Desdemona, but my handkerchief has fallen into Cassios hands. Desdemona…you are a whore for doing this to me. You are a whore for betraying me. Iago has stood by my side in all of this. He is a loyal servant and friend. But now I must remove this cancer that eats away at my heart. I must kill Desdemona. Cassio shall die this very night and Desdemona soon after. So I pray now


My lord in heaven. Watch over me now as I correct a wrong in the name of right. May you love and spirit guide me in the actions I take tonight. May you righteousness be my shining light. I pray now. Amen.


Desdemona. I love her. I need her. But she has betrayed my life, my heart. With her last breath she will know her wrongdoings and confess her sins to me. Now, as I walk up these winding stairs to her room, I wonder Is this the right thing to do? I must do it for my names sake…and for hers. May I know the truth tonight.


May Gods hand be on me always.


Othello


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