REVIVING OPHELIA

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Reviving Ophelia

Adolescent girls growing up in today's society endure many more hardships than in previous years. Adolescence is no longer a time of endless sunny days spent on the back porch with a glass of country time lemonade and a smile extending ear to ear. Adolescence for girls is now generalized as a dark and depressing period of life that often seems hopeless and never ending. Our society has changed for the worse even though we are persuaded to think that we are moving in the right direction. Adolescent girls are drowning in confusion as they try to sort out details in their life, and decide whom they really want to please. Among American girls there is more depression, eating disorders, addictions, self-mutilation, and suicides than ever before. I really feel that Pipher mainly emphasizes the major problems adolescent girls are now facing, the causes of these problems, and how as a society and individually we can deal and change this reoccurring depressing pattern our teenage girls are following. Pipher blames the low self respect of adolescent girls everything from parents to peers, but mainly faults our society as a whole. Pipher also points out that intelligent girls are more prone to depression because they are more aware of their surroundings and therefore more aware of the new constraints they face as they leave childhood. Our society idealizes tall, dark and very skinny women. Television, movies, and magazines are at the root of glamorizing thinness and sexuality, and even encouraging the use of drugs. Our society also puts women on the back burner. Men are wonderful, powerful, and successful and women need to put sugar and crème in their coffee. Schools treat girls and boys differently. Boys are twice as likely to be seen as role models, more likely to receive teachers attention, and more likely to speak up in class. Junior high school is when girls began to drop in their academics. This may be due to the fact that girls place being popular as a higher priority, or they might give up on their hopeless efforts at trying to gain the teacher's approval. One thing that I noticed while reading "Reviving Ophelia" is that two girls can come from totally different backgrounds, be a part of different social cliques, and have an enormous gap between their intelligence but still have the confusion and anxiety of becoming a woman as a common bond. Girls during adolescents cannot think clearly; everything is a dramatic event. Sometimes, a girl going through the stress of adolescence just needs emotional comfort. This was true of Cindy age fourteen who was brought in for depression. Happiness and a cheerful attitude towards life can even assist with physical conditions as in this case. Personally, I know how much it means just to have a person to rely on. I can have the worst day of my life, but then I will talk with one of my very good friends and I am always laughing by the end of our conversation. Basically, we have to blame ourselves for letting the self-esteem for adolescent girls get this low. Adolescent girls deal with more and more every day. Divorce, abuse, rape, and criticism are just few of life's struggles many girls face in our society. To cope with these struggles a plethora of girls choose to use drugs or alcohol, self mutilate, and engage in unhealthy sexual relationships to hide their pain and fear. Control is the main ingredient girls are searching for while doing these things. Anorexics lose control of everything else, so eating is the only thing they feel that they have a say in. Many young girls are so concerned with making other people feel better that they forget about their own problems. Throughout "Reviving Ophelia", Pipher urges change to take place in our society and in each household. Girls need love from family and friends, meaningful work, respect, challenges and safety. We also need to promote identities based on talents and interests rather than appearance and sexuality. Schools need to have classes that teach good habits for coping with stress, self-nurturing skills, and a purpose for life. Pipher encourages parents and society to recognize and take responsibility for neglecting to care for our adolescent girls. She insists that we can do more for adolescents by just listening than anything else. Learning comes so much from just listening. Girls should search deep for their values and beliefs. Relaxation is also a main aspect that girls need to practice. I think two of the most basic skills that Pipher says girls need, making choices and managing pain, are also the toughest. It is also difficult for girls to manage pain because at this age they take everything so personal. Adolescent girls basically need to put blinders on to prevent seeing any bad, they need to concentrate on the good times when they had no worries, unfortunately most adolescent girls "crawl in a deep dark hole" where light is no longer remembered. In conclusion, Mary Pipher's main point in writing "Reviving Ophelia" is to reveal how adolescent girls are being neglected and overlooked. We must be willing to look beyond the surface, become involved, and support girls as they develop physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. We must strive for something better for our teens. We cannot keep labeling our "daughters and sisters", instead we have got to give them a path that leads to self-esteem. The media will give the public what they are search for. Right now that has been women roles that are lessened and more sexualized for the pleasures of men.

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